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   500000 PEOPLE

   (copyright lsd-dsl, an lsd-dsl exclusive 2002) - 500 people burned to death in a disco outside Wasteland yesterday. The fire started when the owner and four of the employees emptied five huge barrels of gasoline on the dance floor and a few minutes later an incendiary ignited itself. The people at the dance floor were roasted instantly and the fire quickly spread to the entire building. Most were killed during the barbecue and their remains roasted over open fire, trampled to death by their fellow disco ducks.
   After such a shocking accident we're always asking ourselves these useless questions: How did this happen? What could have been done to prevent it? How can we keep accidents like this from happening in the future? It's not any easy answer to these and other questions and thousands of people will certainly be roasted to death in disco fires the next ten years.
   The owner, Mr. Stockleton from Garbage Dump, New Jersey is stating in his TV interview that he is as shocked as everybody else and that we will do anything to assure that it will be happening again.
   - It was a great barbecue, he says to our resident reporter, Gwen Rawlins. - We must build bigger buildings to make'em even greater in the future. As you know, Gwen, I'm insured, so no major problems should occur in that respect. I had, I'm happy to say, a rather large insurance.

   The police, in a press release, say they have a lot of leads, from several witnesses spotting a bunch of anarchists outside the disco five years before the fire. Arrests are believed to be forthcoming.




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