I SHIT MY PANTS
I shit my pants today
I was not scared
or anything like that
I just needed so badly
And I was miles away
From the nearest public toilet
It wasn’t pleasant,
I tell you
Not pleasant at all
In fact it was
Unpleasant as hell
I walked the underground
I walked the streets
With a huge bulge
Between my pants
Smelling like
Wild roses and honey
I finally reached
An unpublic toilet
Half an hour too late
I cleaned myself up a bit
Leaving the toilet
Smelling like a toilet
I mean... there was shit
Everywhere
I left it a disaster area
And I smiled wickedly
To the man
On his way in
I wanted to go home
Cleaning myself up
But something wasn’t right
Something was still...
Missing
So I went to a restaurant
To eat my, oh so delayed
Dinner
I sat down in the chair
Presented to me
By the smiling, polite girl
Returning the smile
With my dazzling own
With pants full of
Still wet, forever slimy
Legal? substances
Was there a hint
Of accusation
Behind the polite smile?
More than a bit of
Insecurity
(And fear) for sure
In both guests and employees
I smiled
The food was good
I sat there smiling
As the chair turned wet
Under me
Even the music sounded great
I asked for another helping
And they eagerly brought it
I left the restaurant
Whistling my tune
I walked with light steps
Through well lit streets
I sat in the bathtub
Soaking wet
Enjoying the hot water
The bubbling soap
What a glorious end
To a perfect day
Amos Keppler 2002
