Current feature story:    (one can hear wood burning)    CHURCH BURNED TO THE GROUND    BY BLACK METAL MUSICIANS       In our series of church arsons...    Err; in our series on church arsons we're today interviewing a concerned mother and one hell of a concerned priest.    The church had stood there forever. Some mad king or insane pope had raised it somewhere during the twelfth century. A score of people had visited the place and taken his/her Sunday bath there. Now, there are only smoking ruins left. Heaven is crying this day (even though it happen to be clear skies).    The nice little brick houses close by is covered in smoke. One can even argue, if one's kind that hellish smog is covering the sweet tiny village.    - My mother was born in this church, Mrs. Born is sniffing. All my children, well almost all of them, were baptized and took their first morning bath there. Now, it's all gone to roast, isn't it?    - What about the barbecue, Mrs. Born? Our esteemed reporter is inquiring.    - I guess the barbecue was allright, Mrs. Born is sniffing. - One can even say it was inadvertently too successful. But that's the risk of barbecues, I suppose.    The priest can hardly contain his grief in his frozen position close to the remaining stonewall. The smell of burned flesh hangs heavily in the air. Eyes are running and tears are flowing.    - It's as I've always said, the priest says. - The work of God is incomprehensible to the common man.    He's pausing a bit, before continuing.    - We must do our best to understand the poor souls who have done this horrible act. There are many black sheep in the Lord's flock and they usually come from broken homes or have fallen in with bad company or quite simply had a harder path than most of the lucky ones. We must teach them from an early age to respect the barbecue and the healthy, good values of our society. That way most bad seeds will eventually see the light.    Witnesses did spot quite a few black metal fans around the church a few days ago and the police are fervently looking for them. Unfortunately they're nowhere to be found. Yes, it could, in fact be said that they've vanished from the face of the earth.          Did you enjoy this article? Please burn in and give us your non-opinion opinion. Suggestions and contributions and questions and death threats: lsd@midnight-fire.net Others need not apply. Return to Main Page